Writing Sex Scenes

I wanted to write about this subject because I am now in the process of having friends and colleagues read my manuscript for editing purposes (no, I’m not finished). I read a lit agent’s blog this morning who was writing about a letter from an author who felt embarrassed because she didn’t want her friends and family to think that her sex scenes reflected her own sex life. She was asking whether or not other writers felt embarrassed about their sex scenes. Well, I want to clear the air right now for all of my friends and family who might read my book. I am not even the slightest bit embarrassed of the sex scenes and they are purely the experiences of my characters, not necessarily my own. Stephen King writes about murder, does that mean that he murders people? I think not! Okay, maybe not the best analogy.

A writer has to remain true to his or her characters. In my case, I have two male characters for whom sex is the center of their world. It is the only way they are able to relate at all with the opposite sex and it is the only way they understand love. For Henry Clarke, sex is a means of control or, more importantly, a means of showing power. There is no intimacy in it whatsoever. He asserts his sexual power over his students both male and female. For Jude, sex is a game and, in some cases, an adrenaline rush. It’s sex that fuels the relationships between Kate, the protagonist, and these two characters. Kate is very conflicted when it comes to sex; she mistakes it for love.

I don't believe I have never known anyone like Henry and Jude; they are purely figments of my imagination (or I am protecting someone's identity). Perhaps they come from the books I have read or the movies I have watched in my lifetime?

Furthermore, my life is not exciting enough to hold a reader’s attention. So rest easy mom, you can read without equating the sex scenes with me. They are appropriate to my characters and to the plot of the story. OK... maybe a little cathartic (he he). Come on! Sex is only a part of life… get over it people!

Disclaimer – the writer cannot be held responsible for any of the grammar or spelling errors in this blog as it is Monday morning, which is too early in the morning and the week to be talking about sex!