1. Use it as a stool in kitchen to reach the cabinets. What else do you do with your 1000 page epic about a vampire that couldn’t get into Harvard, so he became a used car salesman and a flamingo dancer? I mean, it took ten ink cartridges to print it! Make haste, not waste.
2. Recycle, Recycle, Recycle! Make into cat litter, a dog bed, stuff some pillows for the couch, or make a sock monkey. It’s all about going green these days!
3. Take it to Kinko’s and have it bound yourself. Wrap it up and give it to everyone you know for Christmas. Nothing like a personalized gift! Just think of all the money you’ll save.
4. Perhaps you could even try to sell it outside of Barnes and Noble. Be sure to ask first! Also, including lemonade with the purchase might be a great idea! Free lemonade with the purchase of one Kinko’s bound manuscript of vampire epic! Sounds like a deal!
5. Wallpaper a room in your house. What an idea! Always think outside the box!
6. Use it to elevate your computer monitor. I don’t know about you, but it annoys me when I have to look down at my monitor. It can’t be ergonomic!
7. Wrap it up in tin foil and use it as an exercise weight! Work those triceps and biceps! You can always use it for step aerobics too. Nothing like buns of steel to make you feel better about things!
8. Make 1000 paper airplanes. Go for the Guinness Book of World Records!
9. Make 1000 paper fans. Sell those with the lemonade!
10. Put in a Tupperware container and float it out to sea… hoping that someone will find it years from now and make you famous! Anything can happen.
When life gives you lemons….